President's Column

What would Congregation Beth Am feel like if we made everyone who walks in our building, or participates in our events, as welcome as Norm’s fellow barflies make him feel? Belonging has always been central to our identity as a community — our logo even includes the words “where you belong” — and I think we do a good job of welcoming each other, of creating a real feeling of belonging. But, still, we need to do better.

The power of belonging — and the danger of its opposite, loneliness — has perhaps never been as clear as it is today. Just last year, the U.S. Surgeon General issued a Public Health Advisory about what he termed “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” As he wrote:

Loneliness is far more than just a bad feeling — it harms both individual and societal health. It is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and premature death. The mortality impact of being socially disconnected is similar to that caused by smoking up to 15 cigarettes a day, and even greater than that associated with obesity and physical inactivity. And the harmful consequences of a society that lacks social connection can be felt in our schools, workplaces and civic organizations, where performance, productivity and engagement are diminished.

Our sages, of course, have long recognized the importance of feeling like one belongs to a community. Rabbi Avraham Yitzchak Kook (known as HaRav Kook, the first Ashkenazi Chief Rabbi of British Mandatory Palestine) put it this way:

The relationship between the Jewish people and its individual members is different than the relationship between any other national group and its members. All other national groups only bestow upon their individual members the external aspect of their essence (a title such as American). But the essence itself each person draws from the all-inclusive soul, from the soul of God, without the intermediation of the group... This is not the case regarding Israel. The soul of the individuals is drawn from ... the community, the community bestowing a soul upon the individuals. One who considers severing himself from the people must sever his soul from the source of its vitality. Therefore, each individual Jew is greatly in need of the community. He will always offer his life so that he should not be torn from the people, because his soul and self-perfection require that of him.

More recently, Rabbi Mordecai Kaplan, the founder of Reconstructionist Judaism, taught that religious identity is based on the “three Bs” of believing, belonging and behaving. “What gives Jews their sense of identity is not primarily belief, but rather, belonging,” he wrote, continuing to say “[I]t is the idea of ‘peoplehood,’ the sense of belonging to the Jewish people, the Jewish community that distinguishes Jewish identity from other religious traditions.”

It’s our obligation, our opportunity and our privilege to help each other feel that we belong. And I am proud that at Beth Am we do exactly that. For example:

• Our longstanding tradition of Shabbat greeters, simply nodding and saying hello to a friend or making a new connection with a friendly hello. 
• Passing someone a prayerbook during Shabbat services if we see someone doesn’t have one (sometimes even leaping to our feet to walk to the back of the Sanctuary to get a prayerbook for someone). 
• Our new Gabbaim program. 
• Acknowledging when we see someone stand for Kaddish and asking about their loss.
• Sharing names on the Mi Shebeirach list.
• Taking advantage of the opportunity when our clergy provide a few moments during services to say hi to someone we don’t yet know.

Helping an individual feel like they belong is essential. But more than that, we must act to build a community of belonging. We must recognize that creating a sense of belonging is our collective responsibility in this community — and that our community extends beyond the immediate “walls of our tent.” Perhaps that is why our founders designed a sanctuary modeled on Abraham’s tent at Marme, where he modeled the type of welcome and hospitality to which we can, do and should always aspire. 

I’m proud to be part of our community that takes responsibility for one another, that creates and continues to foster a sense of belonging. As I said during our Annual Meeting, at Beth Am everyone has a seat at the table. The Board, through the Beth Am Group on Groups (BAGG), is working to help everyone feel that sense of belonging, to find the seat that is right for them. And if you don’t see a seat that looks as comfortable to you as Norm’s barstool does to him, please let us know and we will work with you to create it.

president@betham.org